Dating Safely and Discreetly
Discretion and safety go hand in hand. This guide collects practical habits for protecting your identity, your devices and yourself, online and when you meet.
In short
How can I keep my dating profile private?
Use a nickname that is not connected to your real name, a separate email address and photos that don't appear anywhere else online. Keep face photos in a private album, leave out details such as your employer or neighbourhood, and keep conversations on the platform until you trust someone.
Protect your identity online
- Create a dedicated email address for dating, with no part of your name in it.
- Pick a fresh nickname that you don't use on any other website.
- Use photos that exist nowhere else online, and remove location data before you upload them.
- Leave out identifying details such as your employer, your school or your neighbourhood.
- Never link social media accounts to a dating profile.
Keep your devices private
- Turn off message previews on your lock screen.
- Use a passcode or biometric lock, and don't share it.
- Don't save dating passwords in a shared browser. Use a password manager instead.
- Sign out after using a shared or work computer.
- Use private browsing on devices that other people can access.
Spot scams and fake profiles
Most people you meet online are exactly who they say they are. A small number are not. Be cautious when someone:
- Asks for money, gift cards or cryptocurrency, for any reason.
- Wants to move the conversation off the platform straight away.
- Pitches an investment or a business opportunity.
- Avoids video calls but quickly declares strong feelings.
- Asks for intimate photos early, or threatens to share anything you have sent.
If someone threatens to share intimate images of you, don't pay and don't negotiate. Keep the evidence, block the person and report it. Many countries treat this as a serious crime, and the free service StopNCII.org can help stop intimate images from being shared on participating platforms.
Meeting for the first time
- Video call first. A short call confirms that the person is real and that the chemistry is there.
- Choose a public place you know, such as a hotel bar, a café or a restaurant.
- Arrange your own transport and keep your home address private.
- Tell someone you trust where you will be, or share your location for the evening.
- Keep it short and drink moderately. You can always meet again.
- Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, leave. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
If something goes wrong
Block and report anyone who makes you uncomfortable. If you are in danger, call your local emergency number immediately. You can also contact us about anything that happens on MilanVictoria, and we take every report seriously.
Common questions
Should I tell anyone that I am meeting someone?
Yes, if you can. Tell a trusted friend where and when you are meeting, or share your location with them for the evening. If that isn't possible, many phones have a safety check-in feature you can use instead.
What should I do if someone asks me for money?
Stop the conversation, don't send anything and report the profile. Requests for money are the most common sign of a romance scam.
How do I remove location data from a photo?
Most phones let you switch off location in the sharing options before you send a photo. A screenshot of the photo is also a new image that doesn't carry the original location data.
